


After All This Time

by Severusina



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, F/M, Rare Pairings, Severus Snape Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:22:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23809075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Severusina/pseuds/Severusina
Summary: Snape Survives the war. Here he runs into Petunia, reviving a crush she had on him since they first met, when he chose Lily instead.
Relationships: Petunia Evans Dursley & Severus Snape
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	After All This Time

**Author's Note:**

> This story has had no alpha or beta readers. I still want to tell it, Petunia is so neglected. I'm not trying to be canon or write their accents.

After All This Time

Chapter One

“Watch, I can make flowers bloom with my mind.” Lily Evans informed her sister Petunia. Lily had special abilities. She knew things before they happened, she read minds, but influencing the material world felt more dramatic. Lily tried to teach her sister what she knew but it never worked.

“It’s so easy, why can’t you do it?” the pretty, red hair girl asked her mousy older sister.

“Shut up, I can do it if you can do it!” Petunia concentrated as hard as she could, trying to copy Lily’s expression and gestures, but her flower didn’t change.

“Don’t worry, you will be able to do it someday. We do everything together, we always have.” Lily encouraged her. They had always been best friends.

She pretended to agree, she wanted to believe it. Meanwhile she didn’t mind being in Lily’s shadow, she was comfortable there. Petunia’s role had always been to praise her sister, to cheer and encourage her, to make her look even better in comparison. Even though Petunia was one year older, Lily was the leader, she had the looks and charisma, everyone said so. But Petunia was never competitive and they remained friends until they met Severus Snape.

She was only ten and Lily and Severus were nine. Boys weren’t even interested in girls yet, at least they weren’t supposed to be, but this was a strange boy. Lily and Petunia often saw him watching them, trying to blend into the background. He was obviously following them but he would not approach them. They would see him watching and always turning away when they noticed him. Then they would giggle. It was a game to insist he was in love with one of them, the other one, of course.

“Ew, I hope he doesn’t like me.” Lily wrinkled her perfect nose.

“He probably does, no one would be interested in me.” Petunia complained. Not only was it true but she liked this boy. She was just starting to notice that boys were cute. This boy was awkward, not cute at all. At the same time she was intrigued. He had to be from Spinner’s End, no one would intentionally wear such mismatched clothes. His shirt looked more like a blouse but she thought it made him look like the rock stars she admired. His hair added to that effect, it looked uneven like he probably cut it himself, and oily like he didn't wash it. Lily would complain about that endlessly but Petunia was drawn to him. She found herself staring.

He approached them finally. The warmth in Petunia’s eyes must have given him courage. He had long legs and an odd gait. Petunia thought it just made him more fascinating while Lily would mimic it later when they talked about him. Her sister had taken an instant dislike to him. As he got closer she could see his face was sharp and angular and his eyes were fierce, striking features that promised to be handsome if seen in the right light. 

He only addressed Lily, telling her she is a witch, not even looking at Petunia when he called her just a Muggle. Obviously being a witch was desirable and being a muggle a great disappointment. Just the way he said the word muggle, seeing the pure disgust on his face when he referred to her, she thought she would cry. She had not done anything to him to deserve that. “You don’t know, I may still be a witch, then you will be sorry!”

Petunia was even jealous of the attention from their parents. They were so proud of Lily and Petunia never seemed to do anything to earn mention. True she did not seem to show particular promise in anything.

When Lily got her Hogwarts acceptance letter, it was obvious Petunia would never get hers, she would never show magical ability. She tried to be happy for her sister but she couldn’t. Lily claimed this would not change anything between them, they would remain best friends and sisters. But they both knew things had already changed after they met Severus Snape.

When she left for Hogwarts their parents mourned as if she had died, even though she would keep in touch with them and visit every holiday and summer. Petunia tried to make them feel better. Finally she had something impressive to share with them, one of her drawings was accepted in the school art show. This was her highest achievement in her life so far. They tried to be excited for her but they all argued the day they went to the art show. It was clear they didn’t want to go. She promised herself not to try anymore. She would make a point of not being good at anything, that would show them.

Every summer Lily was more distant with Petunia. It was awkward between them now that it was clear they lived in different worlds. The time they used to spend together was now Lily with Severus and Petunia alone, more likely to read gothic romance novels than find friends. She cultivated hate for Severus, she enjoyed thinking of new insults to use on him. Her favorites would be attacks on his appearance. He was a bit eccentric looking so it was easy to find ammunition. At least it got a response and she knew she was noticed.

One summer Lily complained that Severus had a crush on her but she only liked him as friends, “I mean I’m glad he told me, but what was he thinking?” Petunia thought how lucky Lily was.

Another summer she didn’t like his interests. “He’s fascinated with dark arts. It’s not healthy.” Petunia thought that sounded bad, in a good way. What a complex character he was.

Then there was the summer his voice matured. It was more like a purr than a mortal voice. When she first heard it, she did not know it was him and she fell in love with his voice alone. How could Lily not fall for him? Even stranger, no one else seemed to want him. She never heard about him having girlfriends. What was wrong with Hogwarts?

The last time Petunia had seen Snape was one of the many times she had contrived to run into him when he tried to visit Lily. He kept trying to earn her friendship back after calling her a Mudblood. Lily explained to Petunia what that was, something not as bad as a Muggle but still a great insult. 

In her immature mind, Petunia had thought she had a chance to attract Severus now that Lily had firmly rejected him. She knew she was a Muggle and how much he looked down on them. But wasn’t his own father a Muggle? His own mother married a Muggle! She curled her hair every day, added false eyelashes, red saltwater sandals, all her secret weapons. She had nicely shaped legs and feet and calling attention to her hair and eyes would take away from her large nose and teeth. 

Just when she thought he must be spending the whole summer in his room, she finally saw him. She emphasized the swing in her hips, feeling her curls bounce around her shoulders. When she saw him she forgot all about her affected walk, it naturally became the stalking of a panther when she saw Severus coming. He was still a student but a grown man too. All youthful awkwardness was gone from him, replaced by a magnetic sexual appeal. How on earth was she going to speak in the presence of this being?  
The look on his face when he saw her ruined the mood completely. He looked so disgusted, like only Severus Snape knew how to do. Damn him, it only made him more irresistible! But she felt the disadvantage right away. She did what she always did under stress, she attacked. "Sorry to look in your direction!" She said as she approached him. "Don't bother going to see Lily, she hates you now, she's told me what a loser you are!"

When she saw the hurt look on his face and how instinctively he hid it, she regretted her attack. But it was too late, he was now in a counter attack. "I could never be a loser. I am a wizard. You are the loser, you are a useless Muggle and always will be. I know you wrote to Dumbledore, begging to get in the school. It doesn't work that way." He purred in his seductive voice. She glared at him. He's rubbing that in her face? "You are as mean and ugly as you look." She forced the words out and turned and ran home.  
That day she tore her room apart in anger. She kicked and screamed. He was all she ever wanted and he would never want her. She promised herself to purposely give herself the worst in life. She pushed away her own family, she never tried to be good at anything, and she looked for a man opposite from Severus Snape to marry, finding Vernon Dursely. He was not a bad person but she was using him to punish herself. She was the bad person. Twenty years of alcohol abuse followed.

Chapter Two

Petunia hated weddings, she avoided them whenever possible. But it was so sweet and mature of Harry to invite her. He really didn't show any resentment about how he was treated. She sat by Dudley and his new girlfriend. Vernon wouldn’t be there, which was for the best even though their divorce was a mutual decision.

From the outside she looked confident, maybe even arrogant. Her large nose tilted up and her eyes tended to be half-lidded, the corners of her lips permanently turned down. Her face and body were rigid but her long neck kept swiveling around looking for Severus. She was so curious what had become of him. She tried to be discreet, as if admiring the decorations, but she was only looking for one thing. Would she still be attracted to him? She had heard from Harry how dedicated he had remained to Lily’s memory. As far as anyone knew, he never did have a serious relationship. Yes, it was romantic or obsessive depending on who you asked, and the thought of it infuriated her. Lily would inspire that kind of devotion, even just being friends. Then came the old guilt at feeling jealous of Lily, it was a familiar cycle.

It would have helped if she'd known he no longer wore mismatched poorly fitting outfits but always wore a tightly tailored black (or was it really dark blue?) coat that covered about every inch of him. It wasn’t military, it was almost old fashioned. She didn't recognize him at first. Guiltily she remembered she used to make fun of him for his oversized coats and women's blouses. Did her insults have anything to do with the drastic change? No, that would be giving herself too much credit, she was nothing to him, not only a muggle but one he despised on sight. 

She saw the similar hair though, as black, oily and disarrayed as ever, and the same shapely nose, that must be him. She looked away quickly, hoping not to be noticed gawking. Pay attention to the wedding, she scolded herself. She thought he appeared much older than he should. Was it just the comparison to his younger self so abrupt to her, or was this man too old to be Snape? Another look could not wait. She turned around again, casually like she was looking at the wall past him. She was pretty sure he saw her but how could she tell when he gave no outward response. The wedding was full of important wizarding people all trying to get a look at each other, it was not unusual for someone to stare. He looked down at the floor but not before she again saw the deep lines on his face and the hollow cheeks and eyes. His skin was no longer pale but more splotchy and sallow. 

After staring too long she realized she'd given up the pretense of showing interest in the decorations. She didn't even care that he was clearly trying to avoid her looking at him. Against her will she scrutinized every detail of him, trying to find flaws to convince herself he is not attractive. Snape suddenly made intense eye contact, his expression unreadable. It felt like an electric jolt, he’d probably never actually looked at her. Abruptly she turned away and focused on the kissing of the bride and groom.  
The wedding felt long and drawn out, she was tired already. Fortunately her son would not be at the reception, she was going to seek out Severus there. Unconsciously she unbuttoned an extra button on her shirt.

She had nothing to offer an exceptional wizard like him, but there he was at the reception, congratulating Harry and Ginny, all seeming very warm together now. When Petunia strode up to the trio, Severus widened his eyes slightly and he seemed to take in a deep breath as if he would speak. Instead he simply nodded to her in greeting. Now that she was close she saw other changes. His facial features were a bit softer and not as angular, under his eyes was puffy. She thought the years were not kind to him. Good, he deserved it for rejecting her! She quickly silenced the venomous automatic thought, as she so often had to do. Then she realized he was even more handsome now, slightly more approachable somehow.

They drank and discussed safe topics like the decorations and catering. Darker topics lay under the surface, of course, but those were expertly avoided. No one mentioned that Harry was now talking with the two people he hated the most as a child. Petunia shivered when she heard Snape’s voice again after all this time. It was a bit deeper and even more resonant and sensual than she remembered. 

Harry and Ginny had to mingle and Petunia was left with Severus. He had finished his drink and was almost finished with the next but they were lessening his inhibitions and she could use that to her advantage right now.

"I should never have read your letter to Dumbledore." He was slurring his words slightly but she would have known he was intoxicated anyway, saying that. He looked like he wanted to say more but thought better of it.

"I remember. I suppose I got revenge with my insults.” 

"No, your criticism was warranted." His expression darkened but he suggested they talk another time before breaking off the conversation. When he turned to walk away though he staggered, she had to catch his elbow to balance him.

"Wait, where do you think you are going staggering like that? I'll order a taxi and see you home." Petunia stepped in. He couldn't go home alone in this state. Then it occurred to her, "Don't you have some magical means of transportation?" 

He glared at her, “If I had that, I would be using it. Think.” This was more like the Severus she remembered.

She assumed magic is affected by intoxication. She put his arm around her shoulders and guided him to the taxi. He must be in a bad state to let her do this without flinching. Now that her arm was around him she noted his body had filled out nicely, he was not the gaunt teenager anymore. She had to calm herself down as she watched him bend over to get in the taxi. She took him to her place.

Chapter 3

Severus woke up in a strange place, obviously a rarely used guest bedroom with almost nothing except a bed. But he remembered everything that happened the night before, he knew where he was, the home of Petunia Dursley. Or was it Petunia Evans now? She did say she was divorced. 

He remembered seeing her at the wedding and immediately realizing he had reason to avoid her. She would know him from their venomous relationship as youths but more importantly, did she know his role in her sister’s death? She would not know unless Harry Potter told her, which was plausible. But it seemed he never told her, or Petunia would not be civil, let alone bring him home.

Maybe he didn’t remember exactly everything about the night, last he knew he was still fully dressed, now his coat was sitting on the dresser. He vaguely remembered Petunia helping him unbutton it. He was officially mortified. How could he let himself get in the position he needed help undressing? He didn’t care for anyone to see his neck, he was still a proud person. A little more clearly he remembered the shocked look on her face when she saw it, the hideous scars and the slim metallic band that was ingrained in his skin. Did he tell her what it all meant? He got dressed, buttoning the coat faster than ever in his life, despite the effects of a slight hangover. He took a shot from the flask of whisky he kept in his coat, that would take care of it.

This is exactly why he was not going to attend this wedding. He knew he had been drinking too much after the war, but it had never been to the point of a blackout. That was one of the few things that told him he was not an alcoholic. It was a topic he was too familiar with and it was getting harder to ignore. At least he remembered acting normally at the wedding itself, Petunia must have gotten him out of there just in time. 

He found the kitchen where Petunia was almost finished making an elaborate breakfast for them. He smiled at him, her expression told him there is no way she knows what he did.

“How much did I tell you last night?” He folded his arms and leaned against the doorway, his eyes narrowed at her but only from the glaring lights. She didn’t look at all like he remembered her. Her face still looked a bit like a horse but suddenly it was charming. She must have just washed her hair and it already looked greasy. He never noticed that about her but it was so obviously similar to his own, just a lighter color. He felt a kinship over this superficial detail despite himself.

“We talked about everything, it seems. What do you last remember?” She sets the two breakfasts on the table. 

“I remember you seeing my neck, and how you reacted.” That was something he did not want to talk about but part of him did and this was a safe audience. Petunia was a muggle, she would be easier to talk to than anyone from his previous world.  
“I’m sorry for that. I just was not expecting it.” How could she?

“I understand, it’s hideous, a war wound.” He was right, Petunia was easy to talk to. He was vague about what happened, the less she knew the better. She didn’t ask about the band around his neck but he ended up telling her. She had seen it, after all, the magical restraint collar the Ministry forced on him for his past actions. It was permanent, he had to live the rest of his life without magic. This was the first person he had talked to about it. Everyone knew in the wizarding world, of course, and no one dared even bring up the subject with him. Saying that out loud hurt and was a relief at the same time. 

“I can’t imagine how that must be for you. I know how painful it was for me, to not have magic in the first place. I don’t know, it must be worse to have it and lose it.” Her voice was still shrill like when she was younger but now it struck him as passionate. 

“I deserve it, really. I did unforgivable things.” He thought of Lily. Some day he would tell her his part in her death.

“Oh, I can’t imagine anything like that.” Petunia tried to be reassuring.

They had already caught up on their life events last night. Did he remember correctly they were laughing together? Of course he was drunk, but when was the last time he laughed? He watched her hands while she ate, avoiding eye contact that felt too intense. They were slim but almost knobby fingers, he thought they were beautiful and he was not one to notice anyone’s hands. They also looked strong and flexible, he imagined how they would feel doing certain things. 

Over the next week Severus spent more time at Petunia’s than he did at his own home. The unused guest room was his home now. Why go home, all that was there was a library of books he could no longer use? Petunia was easy to be with and he helped her with the small catering business she ran from her home. He didn’t feel compelled to drink excessively here either, maybe it was the change in environment.

“You have a talent for this.” She told him one day when they worked together in the kitchen. Naturally he was going to excel at anything he did, wizard or not.

“Good to know I’m not completely useless.” He snarled at her even though she gave him a compliment. He still felt useless if he were honest with himself.

“Not to me!” Petunia knew there was nothing she could say to make things alright. They stood together and worked, close enough their bodies would brush against each other. In this case the small kitchen was perfect. She wrapped an arm around his waist, tentatively. He hid the tension in his body that automatically arose and he let her do it. He slowly stopped what he was doing to see how he felt about it. They seemed to fit together even physically, filling in the spaces where each other’s curves fell. When he turned to face her, the fit was still perfect. His arms slipped around her slim body naturally as he looked down at her upturned face. 

She looked up at him, her lips even more kissable than they had been many times over the last week. He lowered his eyelids and finally pressed his lips against hers, just for a moment before pulling away to see her reaction. She just looked at him stunned but then she dove in again to kiss him. 

He met her kiss and received her tongue. He moaned her name. He had no idea what effect that had on Petunia, who had always longed for this moment. She cried.

“Why are you crying?” He kissed her tears.

“You know.” She looked at him again and it seemed he really didn’t know. He deserved to hear it. “Hearing my name in your voice like that.” 

He never did have a chance to tell her what he wanted to say before they went any further, he let it happen. They hardly left the bedroom for the next week. He would have to explain to her later.


End file.
